How To Figure Out If You Actually Hate Your Job Or If You’re Just Being A Complainer
Posted: January 15, 2013 Filed under: Career Advice | Tags: career, Careers, complaining, employment, fulfillment, Gen Y, happiness, Harvard Business Review, Inspiration, job hunting, jobs, life, motivation, skiing, work 15 Comments »
I hate my job.
No. I really do.
But I can’t say that I’m surprised that I hate my job because I hate it every January. Like clockwork. December is a slow month at my office which leaves me with a lot of time to sit at my desk and focus on my work, which always reminds me how unfulfilling my work is. So by the time January rolls around I’ve decided that I want to quit my job.
But then things get busy again which makes it easy for me to distract myself from the fact that my work is unfulfilling, and in a pinch I can always keep myself entertained by internet stalking whoever I happen to be obsessed with at the moment.
So I keep forgetting to quit my job.
The outcome of all this is that I find myself sitting at the bar in the ski lodge with my boyfriend trying to figure out how long it would take to save up enough money to quit our jobs so we can ski every day. Then we remember that we can’t quit our jobs because we still have student loans. Since we’re not quitting our jobs, we see no reason not to order another round of $8.00 beers.
So on Monday morning I psyched myself up and started looking for new jobs. But, I’m not very good at looking for jobs. Actually, I’m horrible at it. It’s probably because I can’t understand the job descriptions. Maybe I could understand them if they were written in actual English rather than whatever language you call a string of buzzwords with a period at the end, but they’re not. I figure that if I have to Google most of the words in the job description then I’m not qualified for the job, so I give up and go back to reading the Harvard Business Review because I think it will make me a very marketable employee. Which will help me get a new job. Which will clearly not be happening today.
My friend told me that he’s not going to read my blog any more because all I do is complain and that’s probably true because I’ve had a rough month. So I better figure out a way to turn this post around. Fast.
Ok, so here’s the thing….
I consider myself to be a pretty capable human. When I want something I almost always get it because if I want it badly enough I’m willing to do whatever it takes to get it. And there have been plenty of things that I thought I wanted and didn’t end up getting, because in the end I wasn’t willing to put in the effort. Getting myself a new job is going to require me to read job descriptions, and the fact that I’m not willing to do this means that I must not want a new job that badly.
It’s easy to buy into this notion that we should all be “doing what we love”, but the reality of the situation is that this isn’t something we deserve…
It’s something we have to earn.
Every job – even one you love – is a pain in the ass at times. I suspect the lack of new job motivation is that you may not really want a new job.
Everyone should know that the beers don’t cost $8.00 unless there is a shot in them.
Unless you buy them halfway up the mountain. We asked for shots to go (a refill for our flask) and they did not find it amusing…
I’ve been in that position many times. You know you’re ready when you start looking at job postings while you’re watching TV late at night without thinking about it. You’re right, if you’re not putting in the work you’re not that ready to leave yet.
Skiing is a problem. No really. The fact that this happens to you every January probably is, at least a tiny bit, related to the fact that you miss the mountain/bar. No gant charts, no e-mails…
You know what, that sounds great! I’ll be right there!
I’ll have an $8 beer waiting for you when you arrive!
Well said! I am familiar with the January problem. However I rather felt it was due to the fact that in December I needed to meet all those insane deadlines (‘This needs to be done before the end of the (fiscal) year!’), and then I plunged into XMas vacation with too much time of pondering about the meaning of Life, the Universe and Everything. And when I had just started to make progress in figuring out what you actually want to do, I was called back to arms again.
And yes, after some weeks you ask yourself why you wanted to change jobs. You are right in saying that sometimes we do not want a new job actually. But in the other hand I would say (based on my experience from changing jobs) that we shun changing jobs because we shun the stress of making ourselves familar with new colleaues, a new field of expertise, or a new job role – all that ‘social’ stress related to building up reputation again in a new social biotope. The more radical the intended change is, the higher is this activation energy. But it is an activation energy – the final new state would be a better option if we dared to climb that mountain in between.
I couldn’t agree more, and I know that I personally tend to be bad with change. I mean, I practically had a panic attack when Delta started flying into a different terminal in Detroit.. I often worry that the only reason I haven’t left yet is because I am too scared and that I am just justifying my not leaving with the “reasons” it’s good for me to stay.
Yes – though I finally pulled off some major changes, I would not say that I had been born as a bold adventurer. I am a bit of a control freak (and BTW an engineer, too) and I also think you need to deserve the change – also financially. I am in the middle of a major transition right now, but I only dare to do so based on the outcome of overcoming the January problem for many years.
I just like to think that when the times comes I will recognize it and go for it. Luckily, I don’t really have a problem doing this when I am truly convinced it is the right thing. Thanks for reading and for the thoughtful comments
Emily, in the teaching profession, March is the watershed month when every teacher says, “Crap, I am not gonna get these kids anywhere near where I thought they’d be come June.”
But then Sept comes again and we, the eternal optimists say,”Yeah! another chance with a new crop. This year will be different.” It’s that rub between what IS and what could be that keeps us all in the game.
I frequently say to folks something along the lines of “Well, of course it sucks. That’s why they pay us to be here”.
Dad broke down the truth to me pretty early on, probably 16 or 17. “Look, very, very, very few people actually get paid to do something they love doing, and even then they don’t love doing it everyday. The trick is to find a job that pays you enough money so that you can do the things you want to do, and then find a way to maintain the balance between the two.”
Yeah, the thing is that I have that… I have a job that’s pretty good most of the time and that allows me the freedom to do pretty much whatever I want. So I should be happy right? But me being the high-maintenance person that I am there’s a missing piece of the puzzle, and that is feeling like I am living up to my potential. I am very good at dealing with and accepting that things suck, but I am not very good at dealing with the feeling that I’m selling myself short is. This is probably very Generation Y of me.
I think that can be somewhat universal. I struggle because after being a soldier for so long, civilian life feels unfulfilling. All I’m doing is helping someone make money. Not worrying about ways to keep myself or my soldiers alive. I’ve had to work to find outlets for that energy. Maybe the same thing but different?
Hi Emily,
Here’s my 2 cents. Again, a book. (I go to books for every problem.) Your Money or Your Life. What always helped me was like skiing. Instead of looking at the bump or turn or gate right in front of you, look two or three ahead. Same thing with life. By looking out to the horizon of my dream, to retire early (with enough $ to buy beer, including occasionally at ski resorts), the day job became in that context. It was the means to the end. Followed the program in the book, and, actually to my surprise, it worked. But the best thing was not staring down at the ground right in front of me all the time. Lift that head up and focus on a beautiful dream. Make that dream a goal. Have as much fun along the way as possible, including at work.
Thanks for checking and commenting on my blog today!
Nia
This is brilliant advice Nia. I too am a solve all my problems with books kind of girl, so I will check that one out.
Awesome! My background is Engineering services… Fun stuff making this connection. See you on the slopes!